People Sum Up Their Worst Dates In 10 Words.
Most of us have been there, hiding in a bathroom cubical asking your best friend to call you in five minutes so that you have an excuse to leave. The bad date, the date that leaves you waking up in cold sweats at 2 am. The date that all your friends retell before you re-download Tinder. The date that leaves you starring off into the distance on the train wondering what you did to deserve this.
Personally, I believe that a good date is about as rare as Trump having a normal hand-shake. Have you ever seen it happen? No, I didn't think so, that's because it doesn't exist. To be fair, my bitterness could stem from the fact that I don't think I've ever had a good date. And maybe that's because good dates don't exist, or maybe it's just due to my enormous lack of standards and poor counterparts. It's up for interpretation.
The point is, I hate most of the people I've ever dated and it's left a bitter taste on the word 'date' for me. We get it, I’m single, and after a glass of house-wine I'm also quite bitter about it. So, I decided to ask people to sum up their worst date in 10 words so we can all feel better about our love lives. You’re welcome.
"He thought gay couples should not go outside" - Rosie
“Was a paralegal for a mining company. Hated the world.” – Bradley.
“Went to his mum's favourite restaurant, read his Harry Potter Fan-fiction ” – Anonymous.
“Crazy Gemini tells me he can change the future.” – Annie.
"Showed me the hole he punched in his wall' - Anonymous
“Guy with weird baby voice talked about karate a lot.” – Deanna.
“He bought a knife then left me in a park at 9 pm.” – Grace.
“Had a drug overdose. Ended up in hospital.” – Anonymous.
“Shitty movie, sloppy kiss.” – Anonymous.
“Talked about Anarchy a lot.” – Anonymous.
“[He] pissed on the train tracks.” – Caitlyn.
“Ended up sitting with a girl I rejected at speed-dating.” – Anonymous.
“He wouldn’t stop comparing me to past girlfriends.” – Anonymous.
“He kissed me like a whale shark about to feed.” – Chantel.
“Couldn’t drive me home because he wouldn’t pay the [road] toll.” – Annie.
“Sex in a bush led to a spider bite and anaphylactic shock.” – Anonymous.
“Went to try a girl’s favourite food. I vomited.” – Anonymous.
“Meat-worker, no front teeth.” – Anonymous.
“A guy only eating tuna showed me mountain bike memes.” – Deanna.
