Your July Horoscopes.
Aries
Wow, you’re feeling super emotional this month, which is rare for you, since you’re usually cool, calm and a bit of a bitch. But don’t worry, this doesn’t mean anything bad, it could mean feeling overly grateful or happy. You might not even know what brought this on, it could be that last week Coles had two for one chocolate, or it could be something less life changing, I doubt it, but who knows. But if you’re feeling emotional about something that's actually bad, well then, I guess that chocolate is still on sale.
Taurus
Taurus my dear, you need to start this month with an open mind, which is horoscope talk for everything has gone to shit and you need to re-evaluate. In the past, you might have had trouble trying to express yourself; this needs to change this month. If something is wrong, you need to take the opportunity to speak up and stop pretending that everything is fine. But then, of course, you don’t want to say too much because you’re still re-evaluating what you want to say, it’s a tough one, my friend.
Gemini
Rumour has it, you’ve been spending too much, you little rascal. We all know retail therapy is great, but if you’re paying more than $20 for a pair of socks, you’ve gone too far mate. Take a step back, find out why you’re spending so much and then go and buy some cheaper socks and treat yourself for getting your life together. There’s also some tense relationship stuff going on around mid-month to the end of July, which explains the shopping. But it also means you need to buy new clothes to make up for your crippling self-esteem issues, treat yourself.
Cancer
You guys are having a beautiful month, which compared to the disasters we’ve seen above, even I’m jealous. All those things you’ve been working towards are falling into place, and it means your mind can be at peace for a while. And you know what, good on you, you did this all yourself, enjoy it. But also can’t you share some of it around like jeez, come on, what are you, an only child?
Leo
You’ve been tossing back and forth between new and old, and what feels better for you. Well, it’s time to get your shit together and go with the new, how many times have you told yourself that and then gone and re-watched that same old TV show you’ve watched 4 times before. Heck, why not buy a new brand of toilet paper? Or maybe even a new brand of shampoo? Really work on reinventing yourself.
Virgo
You’re super social this month, just writing that made me tired. There’s going to be a lot of outings and new adventures, which I guess is exciting, I don’t know about you, but I like to be in bed by 9 pm. But then again, this is the month to come out of your comfort zone, so like maybe try going to bed at 11 pm, or leaving the house once a day. Towards the end of the month, there’s a person who you’re going to connect with on a pretty intense level (Maybe they go to bed at 9 pm too) so look out for that one.
Scorpio
Your brain is a bit foggy lately, yeah? Feeling like you don’t really know what’s next? Maybe try having a good ole’ D&M with your bestie, and they will help you out. Looks like you need to change your life up a bit, this isn’t the first time you’ve heard this. You’ve been feeling like you’re in a bit of an odd place quite a bit recently and you’re like “Ugh, why do my horoscopes keep saying this,” and you just go back into the cycle of feeling like something's missing, you’re welcome.
Libra
You’ve been missing out on quality conversation and connection lately, which is totally okay and cool, but it needs to stop. If you feel like you’re a bit down in the dumps, only hanging out at home won’t help that. You need to go hang one with your pals and really have a good old time, even if you think you'll hate it. You need to go out and be a bit crazy. Heck, why not even stay out past 7 pm? Really bring out your wild side.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, you guys, this is the month to just relax and listen to your feelings! ‘Follow your heart,’ ‘Live, love and laugh!’ and all those other framed quotes that you see above your average suburban couples’ bed can be your motivation for the month. Just listen to your instinct and don't second guess your intuition. And if you follow your heart and play your cards right, mid-month you’re looking at receiving some love, which is like just fine, whatever, we’re not all jealous.
Capricorn
If you’re feeling in a bit of a rut this month or that you can't think straight, it’s a good idea to take a trip, if you can afford it. Why not go to Paris for the weekend? Your casual 2-day vacay. If you can’t afford that, the stars don’t specify what sort of trip, so I guess a trip to KFC will do too. Don’t waste all your energy on KFC though, you’ve got bigger things ahead, like maybe even a trip to the art gallery to expand your creative side.
Aquarius
You’re just feeling sad for yourself this month, and good on you for doing so. It is entirely okay to just feel bad and not have any particular reason for it. You do you boo. Get some takeaway Thai and stalk your ex on Instagram, really exploit feeling sad for yourself. Mid-month everything will pick up again, and you can go back and re-block everyone you unblocked to stalk on Facebook.
Pisces
This month, according to the stars, unplanned adventures will result in some fun and romance. Which sounds like the sort of catchphrase you would see on Pepsi or a pregnancy test ad, but whatever. Watch out though, it could mean there are more people in your life that don’t have your best intentions at hand, they may be cute though, it’s bittersweet honestly. Make sure you look out for yourself, have a bath and cut your nails, get into that self-care.
